I wanted to elaborate on my last blog and give you more clarity on how to respond in different scenarios. I am sure you still have questions...
If you’ve ever been ghosted, you’ve probably asked yourself one question:
“Are they going to come back?”
The honest answer?
Very often — yes.
But not always for the reasons you hope.
Ghosters tend to circle back when:
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They’re bored.
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Their other option didn’t work out.
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They’re feeling lonely.
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They want validation.
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They assume you’re still emotionally available.
Notice what’s missing?
Growth. Accountability. Self-awareness.
Most ghosters don’t come back because they’ve reflected and matured. They come back because they assume access to you is still open.
And that’s where your power comes in.
Does It Matter How Long You Dated?
Yes. Context matters.
If It Was Less Than a Month
If you were only talking or dating casually for a few weeks, ghosting still shows poor communication — but it may simply reflect immaturity rather than deep emotional damage.
In this case:
You don’t owe them a response.
You don’t owe them closure.
You don’t owe them access.
A non-response is often the strongest response.
Silence can be a boundary.
If It Was More Than a Month (Or Emotionally Involved)
If you were consistently dating, emotionally invested, intimate, or building something meaningful — ghosting crosses into deeper disrespect.
When someone disappears after deeper connection, it reveals a serious inability to handle emotional responsibility.
If they come back after this?
You need to ask yourself one question:
Did they apologize and take accountability — or are they pretending nothing happened?
Because those are two very different scenarios.
When They Come Back — How Do You Respond?
You have three healthy options:
1️⃣ No Response
If their return is casual (“Hey stranger” or “Been thinking about you”), silence protects your dignity.
You are not obligated to engage.
Access denied.
2️⃣ Short and Direct
If you want closure or clarity, keep it brief:
“I don’t reconnect with people who disappear without explanation. Wishing you well.”
No emotion. No debate.
Power is calm.
3️⃣ Conditional Re-Engagement (Rare, But Possible)
Only consider this if:
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They acknowledge ghosting.
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They apologize sincerely.
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They explain without blaming you.
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Their behavior aligns consistently after.
Words mean nothing without behavioral change.
And even then — you are allowed to decide it’s too late.
Does Time Change the Disrespect?
Some people say,
“Well, we were only dating a few weeks…”
Here’s the truth:
The length of time doesn’t change the character revealed.
Ghosting shows conflict avoidance.
It shows discomfort with communication.
It shows emotional immaturity.
Time only changes how attached you were — not what the behavior means.
The Bigger Question
Instead of asking,
“Why did they come back?”
Ask,
“Why would I accept someone who showed me they disappear when things get uncomfortable?”
That’s the real growth.
Because sometimes the comeback isn’t a blessing.
It’s a test.
And not every door that reopens deserves to be walked through again.
If someone ghosted you, they already showed you how they handle difficulty.
When someone shows you who they are — believe them.
Not angrily.
Not bitterly.
Just clearly.
Your power is not in reacting.
It’s in choosing who gets access to you.
