💬 A Personal Note Before We Begin
I’m writing about ghosting today because I’ve realized something important — this isn’t just a “millennial dating problem.” It’s not just Gen Z. It’s not just people on dating apps.
It happens at every age.
It happens in your 20s.
It happens in your 40s.
It even happens in your 60s.
I’ve seen it. I’ve heard the stories. I’ve had the conversations with friends, readers, and people who are genuinely confused and hurt by someone who simply disappeared.
Ghosting isn’t about age — it’s about emotional maturity.
And no matter how old we are, none of us deserve silence where there should have been honesty.
So today, I want to talk about the truth behind ghosting, why it happens, and most importantly — how we stay in our power without accepting disrespect.
In modern dating and relationships, ghosting has become painfully common. A message left on read. Calls unanswered. Plans that disappear without explanation. One day you’re talking every day — the next, nothing.
Let’s tell the truth:
Ghosting isn’t mysterious.
It isn’t romantic.
It isn’t “mixed signals.”
It’s avoidance.
And yes — more often than not, it’s emotional cowardice.
What Ghosting Really Says
When someone ghosts you, they’re communicating something very clearly through silence:
-
“I don’t want to deal with discomfort.”
-
“I don’t know how to communicate honestly.”
-
“I choose ease over accountability.”
Ghosting is not about you being “too much,” “not enough,” or “hard to love.”
It’s about their inability to handle emotional responsibility.
Emotionally mature adults communicate. Even when it’s uncomfortable.
Especially when it’s uncomfortable.
Why It Hurts So Much
Ghosting triggers something deep in us:
-
Rejection without explanation
-
Confusion without closure
-
Self-doubt without evidence
The human mind craves resolution. When we don’t get answers, we often turn inward and create stories — usually ones that blame ourselves.
But here’s the empowering truth:
Silence is an answer.
And it’s not one that requires you to chase clarity.
How to Respond When Someone Ghosts You
Remaining in your power doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t hurt. It means responding with dignity instead of desperation.
1️⃣ Send One Clear Message (Optional, But Empowering)
If you need closure, send one grounded message:
“I’ve noticed communication has stopped. If you’re no longer interested, I would have appreciated honesty. Wishing you well.”
Then stop.
No paragraphs.
No emotional essays.
No chasing.
Power is in brevity.
2️⃣ Don’t Double-Text for Validation
Every extra message lowers your leverage and increases their comfort in disrespecting you.
Silence meets silence.
Let them feel the absence of access to you.
3️⃣ Don’t Romanticize Their Potential
You are not attracted to who they are.
You’re attached to who you hoped they would be.
There’s a difference.
Someone who disappears without explanation is showing you exactly how they handle conflict. Believe them.
4️⃣ Reframe the Narrative
Instead of:
“Why wasn’t I enough?”
Try:
“Why was I willing to tolerate breadcrumbs?”
Ghosting reveals alignment issues early. And early misalignment is protection.
The Real Power Move
The real power move isn’t sending a dramatic final text.
It isn’t subtweeting.
It isn’t pretending you don’t care.
It’s this:
You emotionally detach and redirect your energy.
You don’t beg for clarity from someone who lacks courage.
You don’t negotiate respect.
You don’t accept behavior that you wouldn’t tolerate from yourself.
Ghosters Don’t Win
People who ghost often circle back. Not because they changed. But because they assume access is still available.
Your job?
Close the door without slamming it.
A calm:
“I’m no longer interested.”
is stronger than any emotional reaction.
Final Truth
We must remain in our power without becoming hardened.
You can acknowledge that ghosting is wrong.
You can feel hurt.
And you can still choose self-respect over reaction.
Mature love requires communication.
If someone cannot communicate, they are not equipped to connect.
And that’s not your loss.
I hope this serves you,
Samantha
No comments:
Post a Comment