The Voice of Resistance – A Compassionate Look at Why We Resist Growth and How to Listen

Growth is rarely a straight path. Often, when we are on the verge of change, something deep inside us pushes back. That pushback—the hesitation, the fear, the voice that whispers, “You’re not ready” or “What if you fail?”—is what I call the voice of resistance.

For a long time, I used to see resistance as an enemy. I thought it meant I wasn’t strong enough, that maybe my dreams weren’t meant for me. But over time, I’ve learned to see resistance with compassion. Instead of trying to silence it, I’ve started listening to what it really wants me to know.

Why We Resist Growth

Resistance isn’t here to destroy us. In fact, it often shows up as a form of protection. It’s the mind’s way of saying:

“This is new and unfamiliar—are you sure it’s safe?”
“We’ve been hurt before. Let’s not make the same mistake again.”
“If you succeed, things will change. Can we handle that change?”

It’s important to understand that resistance is rooted in fear, but fear isn’t always bad. Fear can highlight where we’re stepping into the unknown. It can point us toward the exact areas where our deepest growth lies.

My Personal Experience with Resistance

When I quit my 9–5 job to step fully into my coaching journey, I thought freedom would feel exciting right away. Instead, resistance met me at every turn.

I doubted myself constantly: “Who am I to guide others?” I struggled to build credibility, and it took me much longer than I expected to attract consistent clients. Some days I wondered if I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

But instead of pushing those feelings away, I started asking my resistance questions. Why are you here? What are you trying to protect me from? I realized that my fear wasn’t about failure—it was about visibility. Deep down, I was terrified of being seen, of showing up authentically, of risking rejection.

That awareness changed everything. Once I listened with compassion, I could reassure myself: Yes, it’s scary to put yourself out there, but your voice matters. Your story matters. And someone out there needs exactly what you have to share.

How to Listen to the Voice of Resistance

Instead of fighting resistance, try these steps:

Pause and Acknowledge It
When resistance shows up, don’t dismiss it. Name it: “I feel resistance right now.”
Ask What It Wants
Treat it like a wise messenger. What fear or memory is it pointing to? What is it trying to protect?
Respond with Compassion
Resistance doesn’t need force; it needs reassurance. Speak to yourself with the same kindness you’d give a close friend.
Take Small, Gentle Steps Forward
You don’t have to leap over resistance in one go. Even the smallest action in the direction of growth builds trust within yourself.

The Gift of Resistance

The truth is, resistance is not our enemy—it’s a signpost. It shows up when we’re standing at the doorway of change. It says, “This matters. Pay attention.”

If we can learn to listen to the voice of resistance with compassion instead of judgment, it can guide us toward deeper self-understanding and more authentic growth.

The next time you feel resistance rise within you, pause and listen. Beneath the fear, you may find a message of protection, a reminder of your courage, and an invitation to step into the very growth you’ve been yearning for.

Sam

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